Sex, lies and audiotape; Warner continues charge on alleged ‘Cougar in Chief’

So much for the People’s Partnership’s attack on PNM leader Dr Keith Rowley for wining on a teenager.

There is always the likelihood of heavy hypocrisy and immense irony when Chaguanas West MP and former FIFA money transfer extraordinaire Jack Warner is lecturing about wrongdoing. But, not for the first time in the past fortnight, it is his former Cabinet colleagues that squirmed most uncomfortably.

In the latest press gathering of Warner’s long farewell tour, the former Minister of National Security, Works, Transport and Phone Taping revealed a fresh tale of sex, bribes, kickbacks, extortion and fraud.

Naturally, nobody heard anything said after the “sex” part.

Thus far, the title-loving Prime Minister SC has refused to claim the additional portfolio of “Cougar in Chief.” But it will take years before the image of a grinning Glenn Ramdharsingh allegedly telling his driver Jit Hardeen, two years ago at approximately 2.30 am, that: “we got her high so Kristyan can fix up.”

At the time, Kamla Persad-Bissessar was 61. Kristyan Gokool was 33. But don’t expect rabid PP supporters like P*****p to demand to see birth papers in this scenario.

Of course, the only “evidence” thus far is a former FIFA vice president who couldn’t pick Truth out if it was the only member of a police line-up, a SRP driver who changes his version of events according to who is recording him and the reported discovery of what appeared to be marijuana on a window sill rather than in someone’s hand or purse.

And what was the weed doing outside the window anyway? Thankfully, there were no reported sightings of a soucouyant in south Trinidad.

Mr Live Wire must stress that Tanty Kamla could be absolutely innocent of all the innuendos. The problem is when you lead Cabinet ministers allegedly prone to nibbling nipples, touching up tot tots, pulling pokemons, molesting maids and mauling mistresses, it is inevitable that people will one day wonder: What is your vice exactly, PM?

Whatever the extent of Tanty Kamla’s generosity to her young, male neighbour, one should recognise that no crime was committed by his alleged presence. Even if he did take the entire night to deliver his cup of sugar.

In fact, after an era when Justice Minister Herbert Volney spearheaded Section 34 and National Security Minister Warner was pursued by the FBI, the allegedly self-titled “assistant to the Prime Minister’s husband” might have been the only person living up to his job title.

Allegedly, of course. Mr Live Wire has no intention of joining Warner in court.

It is the other non-salacious stuff that needs urgent investigation.

Crooked policemen? An inefficient Integrity Commission? Politicians enriching themselves on the public purse? Ministers who do nothing but show up to gallery in Parliament? Corrupt contractors…

Wait a minute. Did Warner really tell us anything we didn’t know already? Or was that the best repackaging of old food stuff since mammy’s bread pudding?

Warner was at pains to stress his noble intentions today at the press conference, which was held at the Normandie Hotel and not the Centre of Excellence that he allegedly stole from CONCACAF.

“I didn’t come here to demolish Kamla,” he said, while trying to demolish Kamla.

His patriotic fervour.

“I have an obligation to expose this country to who Kamla Persad-Bissessar is,” he said, two years after recording her supposed misdeeds.

And his trustworthiness.

“Sometimes you have to crush grapes to make wine,” said Warner, after playing a recording of Hardeen expressing fear for his life and begging to be left out of the affair.

The FBI has a great recipe for wine too. Although, granted, it might not be as good as Kristyan’s.

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Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.