Chaguanas West MP Jack Warner, like so many scandal-engulfed politicians before him, looks set to quit his day job to “spend more time with his family.”
Only this time, it will be no empty platitude.
After three years of giving United States law officials the wide berth by avoiding airports—and probably crossing the street whenever he neared a McDonald’s—Warner finally has a one-way ticket to the States on his horizons after United States Attorney General Loretta E Lynch signed him for a dirty dozen of racketeering charges.
Mr Live Wire is not saying that Warner’s goose looks well done. He’s just saying that the last time we saw US lawmen this excited; Osama Bin Laden was in a bodybag.
That Jack isn’t just getting hanged. It’s being Lynch-ed!
Before the Lynch-ing, comes the extradition case. And there will be something fitting about seeing Warner sold dreams while his pockets are emptied by lawyers who, no doubt, won’t be at the waving gallery to see him off.
But enough about his time with Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar SC…
Take our advice, Jack. Forget about blowing money on QCs and SCs and get Kevin Hart on the phone for some prison survival techniques.
There is more than a fair chance that Warner will soon have the most awkward family reunion outside of a Tyler Perry movie, when he comes face to face with his sons, Daryan and Daryll. The men he allegedly tutored in a life of a white-collar crime and then abandoned when the FBI pinched them in Miami.
Daryan and Daryll: “What the hell, dad! How could you desert us? We sent you a message saying the FBI had us under arrest!”
Jack: “Really? I thought you said: ‘FYI, the house is in a mess.’ Naturally, I left you guys to clean up after yourselves.”
Warner, a former FIFA vice-president and the People’s Partnership Government’s one-time acting Prime Minister, has retreated so far into his own dreamworld over the years that not even Leonardo DiCaprio would risk looking for him.
The millionaire football official once expressed surprise at former Planning Minister Mary King’s demise over a $100,000 State contract by describing the sum as “lunch money.”
Last night, Warner supposedly had a simple meal with spinach at the prison infirmary. His days of feasting with kings seem over. After securing his $2.5 million bail today, he left jail in an ambulance due, authorities claimed, to exhaustion.
Trinidad and Tobago—and much of the football world—is tired of him too.
Warner once posted bail for the likes of Ish Galbaransingh, Steve Ferguson and Oma Panday. No such benefactors showed up when his time of reckoning came.
Not even ex-TTFA president Oliver Camps dropped in to lift his spirit with a sing-along of Machel Montano’s “Pop a bottle.” Live Wire cannot confirm that Warner hummed “Single forever” instead.
The most powerful sporting administrator that the Caribbean has ever seen, Warner allegedly abused his power to enrich himself rather than lift regional football.
And his claims of being a modern day “Robin Hood” were almost as nonsensical as the suggestion that the FBI arrested him to destroy the ILP’s chances of losing at least 40 deposits to the Elections & Boundaries Commission (EBC) at the 2015 General Elections.
Warner was never what he appeared to be. And he may soon discover that the self-declared “Land of the Free” does not always live up to its billing either.
At least he will soon be in close proximity with his sons again. Although it is not quite as heartwarming a tale as “Finding Nemo.”
Christmas shopping will surely be awkward for the Warner family. What do you get a career criminal who had everything?
Mr Live Wire suggests ankle bracelets. And “Oz: The Complete Seasons 1-6.”