Cabbage Patch Kid buries self with Sea Lots post

EPL Infrafred Sauna

The Trinidad and Tobago Police Service responded to the grieving Sea Lots community yesterday with rubber bullets and tear gas. There were no reports of residents hurling anything but insults at lawmen after a mother and her two children were knocked down and killed while allegedly standing on the pavement at the Port of Spain market.

But, as we all know, to be poor is a crime and to be poor and angry is a shoot-able offence.

Photo: Don't be alarmed; we are just here to protect and serve.
Photo: Don’t be alarmed; we are just here to protect and serve.

Still, the rubber bullets might wear off before the verbal salvo from WIN TV freelance reporter Darryl “Cabbage Patch Kid” Heeralal.

“So listen right and I make no apologies; definitely not,” stated Heeralal, in his Facebook status update yesterday. “Woman and children get bounce and dead so the niggas from Sea Lots decides to riot just as the niggas on the Beetham, Laventille and Maloney do and then the government will have to give them handouts and the politicians who gain from the nigga support will act up…

“Meanwhile the rest of the hard working law abiding Africans and Indians will continue to get salt and live in fear of the rioting niggas.

“Time we arm ourselves shoot them in dey facking head and plant cabbage on them.”

It is hard to know where to start with a rant that is half-hate speech and half-bizarre agricultural tip. But, if a 14-year-old “Granny Quila” ended up being a target for the Attorney General and the subject of an investigation by ex-Police Commissioner Dwayne Gibbs, one assumes that the relevant police body is tracking Heeralal as we speak.

Just to be safe, Mr Live Wire recommends that the policemen take tear gas and rubber bullets along for the excursion.

Of course, the Sea Lots community is not the only group affected by the outspoken law student.

What about honest, hard-working farmers who are still trying to salvage their reputations after TOP leader Ashworth Jack made selling pumpkins and cucumbers synonymous with suspiciously funded mansions and undeclared Integrity forms?

Mr Live Wire suggests that the usually reasonable question: “do you want some cabbage?” should be taken off the list of acceptable queries around the Sea Lots area for the next few weeks.


Editor’s Note: Darryl Heeralal was fired by WinTV this morning. Heeralal subsequently made an open apology for his offensive statement on Facebook. 

More from Wired868
Who’s after me?! Bin Laden’s granddaughter?! Griffith fires at media while Live Wire enjoys some banter

Commissioner of Police Gary Griffith channeled his inner Mike Pence today as he repeated calls for a range of sanctions Read more

Live Wire: Griffith defends ‘pissy pooch’ after lawmen mistakenly kick in door of elderly couple

Commissioner of Police Gary Griffith is again being called to answer for the zealous behaviour of his lawmen, after officers Read more

Satirically speaking: Super-Gary-gets-appointed-Live-Wire-gets-nauseous…

Someone somewhere at sometime once said: “That’s so crazy it just might work…” The phrase caught on. But the person Read more

The Grand Bizarre Shooting; Live Wire reviews worst shooting since Raheem Sterling against Man Utd

In what may go down as the Grand Bizarre Shooting, two fully armed policemen with personal scores to settle fired Read more

Kingdom come! Machel gets ninth Road March and clean bill of health from Guardian; Plus Rowley’s terror update

Soca star Machel Montano secured his ninth Road March title yesterday after his collaboration with Super Blue, “Soca Kingdom”—an okay Read more

TTPS unearths terrorist threat to Soca Kingdom; Live Wire tries to get to bottom of bacchanal

Somewhere in Trinidad, there is a man with an axe to grind this Carnival season. Shunned by the establishment and Read more

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

Check Also

Dear Editor: Gary Griffith got it all wrong once again on licensed firearms

“[…] Clearly, a licensed firearm issued during the period that Mr Gary Griffith was CoP was …


  1. Amanda Aguilera - Lobin

    I await to see if any member of government responds to his statement…. let’s see how long I am to wait.

  2. Funny how he started with – “So listen right and I make no apologies; definitely not,” and he retracts with a what? LOL Oh yes..when that brown stuff hits the fan and your back’s against the wall!!!

  3. I was wondering what the fuss on FB was about. Thanks for the update.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.