Tag Archives: family

For some time, the thought of approaching a memoir as a collection of essays has been floating about. Assembling memories in the hope that they might make for useful reading means committing to candour and truth. People’s feelings have to be taken into account. What to include, what to leave …

He was ranting angrily about his wife of 25 years. He often came to me to vent; she did too. There was little to do but listen. They were spectacularly unsuited for each other, but the thought of getting a divorce was an unthinkable one, because according to the way …

A recent couple of conversations reminded me of how people find different ways to cope with trauma. The brain can introduce a kind of amnesia to block out emotionally shattering events. After a particularly loaded discussion, my friend said that she remembered so many painful things, that what surprised her …

Everyone has their particular memory of childhood Christmas. It is one of those universally observed seasons that is inescapable. Even if you belong to a community that ignores or abhors it, the very act of spurning the commemoration leaves an impression of some sort. The month of December is probably …

I came across this column I wrote in 1998, and for some reason it felt so relevant that I thought I would share this trimmed version (with a Billy Joel headline). When I quit full-time work, a major factor had been the desire to spend more time with my infant …

I was searching for words to describe how I might come across in this column—killjoy, grinch, scrooge—because I know they might easily seem to apply. Maybe it is the cynic in me; maybe I am just perverse, but I have always been unmoved by the hype surrounding certain celebrations. I …

Ask people what it is that makes certain meals so special for them, and I bet that when they reflect they will say it is because it invokes some warm memory from childhood. Hardly is it connected to a lavish spread—it has more to do with its homely nature. The …

I have always misunderstood marshmallows. Never quite got their popularity. In the old days, they popped up mostly around Christmas time, along with butter cookies and other treats. I’ve since discovered that they are actually made up of 90 per cent sugar, but that had nothing to do with my …

Of all the festive days in our calendar—and we have so many—the only one that has genuine significance for me is Old Year’s Day. Nothing to do with the expectations and hopes that accompany heralding a new year. I believe that every day is just 24 hours apart from another, …

Like a passing cloud, our discussions about the SEA performance of our children have come and dissipated. While we anticipated that there would be some learning loss due to the effects of Covid on our schools and our children’s education, the results are astounding.  In every tier of the results, …

Not unlike Shadow’s Bassman, Mystic Prowler in mih head, pleading with people to look beneath the surface. I have just read Vaneisa Baksh’s ‘Sins of the Father’ column. And not for the first time, I have told myself I’m not going to read her stuff. Not for the first time, …

I’ve been repeatedly invoking my belief that the clues to adult behaviour lie along the childhood spectrum. When I recollect my past in these columns, the responses tell me that I am touching chords. Many have written and called to share how they too have been affected.  I am always …