Home / Live Wire / Live Wire: Not so fast! T&T sprint quartet set to snatch Beijing 4×100 crown off Jamaica

Live Wire: Not so fast! T&T sprint quartet set to snatch Beijing 4×100 crown off Jamaica

It started off as a sprint but ended up as a marathon. On 22 August 2008, eight nations and 32 athletes contested the men’s 4×100 metre final in Beijing, China.

And, on 25 January 2017, Mr Live Wire can now reveal the impending result.

The winner, with an amazing time of eight years, six months, three days and 38.06 seconds… Trinidad and Tobago! Bawh!

Photo: Trinidad and Tobago sprinters (from left) Richard Thompson, Emmanuel Callender, Marc Burns and Keston Bledman on the podium at the London 2012 Olympic Games. (Courtesy AFP 2015)
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago sprinters (from left) Richard Thompson, Emmanuel Callender, Marc Burns and Keston Bledman on the podium at the London 2012 Olympic Games.
(Courtesy AFP 2015)

“Usain Bolt, doh bother we… Check de Beijing results, and you will see!”

Yes, in a sensational Caribbean remake of “The Tortoise and the Hare”, Trinidad and Tobago sprinters Keston Bledman, Marc Burns, Emmanuel Callender and Richard “Torpedo” Thompson deployed a brilliant strategy called “running fast and clean” to overtake the Jamaican quartet of Nesta Carter, Michael Frater, Asafa Powell and the legendary Usain Bolt—Carter was found to have traces of banned substance, methylexanamine, in his system, which was discovered during WADA’s retest of urine samples last year.

The T&T sprint team’s approach, which WADA hopes catches on, entailed the obligatory endless hours of hard work and training. But—and this is the clincher—to successfully pull off this tactic, the competitors must ignore the shortcuts, the seduction of the financial spoils at stake for illegal advancement, and the screams of “just run a little faster!” by thousands of compatriots who never bought a Gatorade for you in your 15 year-plus career as an athlete.

You must be willing to do everything necessary to win. But you must also spot that uncrossable line.

Or in the immortal words of Meat Loaf: I’d do anything for gold, but I won’t do that

So what can Bledman, Burns, Callender, Thompson and reserve Aaron Armstrong expect for winning only Trinidad and Tobago’s third gold medal in 70 years of Olympic competition?

Photo: Trinidad and Tobago sprinters (from left) Richard Thompson, Emmanuel Callender and Rondel Sorrillo watch the electronic scoreboard after their disqualification from the 4x100 metre event during the Rio 2106 Olympic Games. (Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago sprinters (from left) Richard Thompson, Emmanuel Callender and Rondel Sorrillo watch the electronic scoreboard after their disqualification from the 4×100 metre event during the Rio 2106 Olympic Games.
(Courtesy Allan V Crane/Wired868)

Well, first of all, their compatriots would need to actually spot the virtue in competing clean and putting egos aside for the greater collective good of a team without turning to skullduggery, nepotism or dodgy backdoor deals—and this in a country where the Head of State refuses to relinquish an allegedly illegal housing bonus, a Prime Minister sees nothing wrong in a MP helping her common-law husband get a State house and an Opposition Leader who…

Eh, okay, we don’t have enough time to go over the Opposition Leader’s CV right now. But how do you think we would have fared in Beijing if, instead of Bledman, Burns, Callender and Thompson, we had four stereotypical Trinbagonians?

Crooked Politician would have run the opening leg—in keeping with the timeless political philosophy of “Me first.” But it would be hard for Crooked Politician to stay keen and motivated because, no matter what happens, the outcome is somebody else’s fault.

Lazy Public Servant takes the slippery baton for the second leg. What a thankless job: tough hours, no glory, poor Wi-Fi… Why should I kill myself for this?

Dodgy Contractor snatches the baton from the eye-rolling Lazy Public Servant and races up the bend. But wait… It started off so well. Now, the handover is late, the work is shoddy, materials are missing and Dodgy Contractor is leaving the track in a Porsche.

Photo: You smell like a winner to me, Ish! Former Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan (right) shares a tender moment with UNC financier Ish Galbaransingh, who is wanted for corruption by the United States Government. (Copyright Trinidad Guardian)
Photo: You smell like a winner to me, Ish!
Former Health Minister Dr Fuad Khan (right) shares a tender moment with UNC financier Ish Galbaransingh, who is wanted for corruption by the United States Government.
(Copyright Trinidad Guardian)

Someone will definitely have to look into how Dodgy Contractor got that contract in the first place—and why his mailing address is now in Panama!

Disinterested Voter has the anchor leg and… Huh? Geezan. It looks like Disinterested Voter has given up entirely because: “Even if I try, I can’t catch Bolt anyway!”

Apparently, Disinterested Voter started an online petition to the IOC, in mid-race, to award gold medals to everyone for simply showing up! Well, if that isn’t an Ultimate Reject…

Naturally, nobody from those four categories would see anything in today’s result worth cheering—despite the fact that tiny Trinidad and Tobago had the fastest team of clean sprinters on the planet in 2008. But, waaaay sah, Mr Live thought it was only the local courts that delivered such “speedy” verdicts.

So, Bledman, Burns, Callender, Thompson and Armstrong, let’s fill you in on what you missed over the last eight years while you were awaiting the 4×100 results:

The United States had a black president! Yep, Barack Obama was sworn in on 20 January 2009 as the world’s most powerful democracy finally embraced a suave, charismatic, gentleman with a God-given tan who could dunk a basketball.

Photo: A Mexican newspaper reacts to the triumph of US presidential candidate Donald Trump on 9 November 2016 in Mexico City.  (Copyright AFP 2016/Yuri Cortez)
Photo: A Mexican newspaper reacts to the triumph of US presidential candidate Donald Trump on 9 November 2016 in Mexico City. 
(Copyright AFP 2016/Yuri Cortez)

But then they replaced him with an orange, misogynistic, loud-mouthed, race-baiting buffoon, whose idea of a golden shower was not quite what you guys had in mind when that race started.

Locally, we had three Prime Ministers—Patrick Manning, Kamla Persad-Bissessar and Dr Keith Rowley—as we went from PNM to PP to UNC-plus one to PNM again.

We could sum it all up in four letters but why waste a perfectly good asterisk?

Oh and there is the crazy synchronised move called the “Mannequin Challenge” where persons remain frozen in action for as long as possible while a moving camera films life going on around them.

Actually guys, we think you might have won gold for that too!

Live Wire cannot confirm that TTOC president Brian Lewis had a glass of bubbly to celebrate today’s Olympic result-in-waiting.

Ten gold by 2020? Piece of cake!

Photo: Done the old talk... Make it rain allyuh! Trinidad and Tobago's 4x100 metre relay team of (from left) Richard Thompson, Marc Burns, Emmanuel Callender and Keston Bledman pose with their London 2012 Olympic Games silver medals in a ceremony at the Anchorage, Carenage on 29 June 2016. (Courtesy Allan V Crane/CA Images/Wired868)
Photo: Done the old talk… Make it rain allyuh!
Trinidad and Tobago’s 4×100 metre relay team of (from left) Richard Thompson, Marc Burns, Emmanuel Callender and Keston Bledman pose with their London 2012 Olympic Games silver medals in a ceremony at the Anchorage, Carenage on 29 June 2016.
(Courtesy Allan V Crane/CA Images/Wired868)

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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62 comments

  1. From bronze to silver to gold ,hmmmm what a way to get our countries third gold medal ,just not fare !!!!! They rob our country one of the greatest celebration ever ,but well done ,win lose or draw we dose celebrate.

  2. Excellent article writing and congratulations to those who kept faith…cheating is a bad option because there is always that chance of getting caught…however long it may take…🐢🐢🥇🥇🍾🍾

  3. The only country to get all three medals in an Olympic relay event in one year….lol….or and 4th place…hehe…call Guinness world records….lol

  4. I sorry for Bolt more than I am happy for our guys.

  5. It means that ALL could be in it, they eh get ketch yet.

  6. Nah. We would actually snatch that crown and retort… “Gih mih de blarsted ting nah man!!!” 😂😂😂👑👑👑

  7. From 4th place to 3rd because of Canada’s lane infringement then from 3rd place to 2nd place because of USA doping and now we go from 2nd place to 1st place for doping again………

    Drugs finally causing good thing to happen to Trinidad and Tobago 😂😅😂😅😂😅….. Congratulations Boys !!!

  8. I am not a track and field follower but I knew who Bolt was by the time he was fourteen years old that man is a beast. Yay we win gold no anthem is been played for our boys. No celebration on the track but gold is gold we go take it

  9. well come on pm time for another holiday

  10. Congratulations to our trinidad and tobago sprinters on our clean run for Olympics gold. I have always supported you

  11. Kendall, I like to let people earn their exit. The people of that ilk can’t help themselves.

  12. Lasana – sometimes for the greater good, you have to thin the herd. Just saying…..

  13. So,we are expecting a golden shower ?

  14. I love when we show what we can do against the world’s best – not as often as we wish. The truth is, as it is with most countries of a smaller size, the less the number of members are in the team, the greater the chances are to be victorious.

  15. Be aware athletes are tested regularly. All year round. Some randomly, others consistently. Overall, many athletes are tested before meets, during, and after meets. Athletes beat the system by using new unknown and advanced masking agents & techniques that available test-methodology/technology will not detect. Athletes can participate in a sport for decades without being caught. However, they are usually caught once the method(s) they used to fool the system is discovered.

  16. Rose-Marie, I can well imagine you would probably have spent a small fortune on equipment, meals, travel, coaching and so on before your son even breaks into the senior national track team… let alone before he is an Olympic medal contender.
    But it is a lonely road…

    • Yeah boy! It’s depressing to think about how much Richard Thomson and his teammates missed out on. Not to mention how some “fans” were washing their mouth on him after the disappointing show at the Rio games. Now if he was a double silver medallist and gold medal winner people may not have been so quick to bad talk. It’s a really lonely road for an athlete yes!

    • I like Richard because he hung in there through thick and thin and did his best. This is his reward and what a reward.

  17. Many of those runners always taking some kind of drugs just to win plenty trophies and plenty millions and even the fella call “Bolt” Them really good yes.

  18. Well, time is telling for Jamaica. The way I look at it Gary, it isn’t our sprinters’ fault that the IOC took so long to catch the drug cheat in that race.
    If the IOC found out before the starter’s gun, they would have gotten to cross the line first and hear their national anthem. They got robbed that.
    For me, T&T are the victims in this story.

  19. .time will tell…it always does

  20. I feel bad for Bolt..not in a celebratory mood at all

  21. like the sub 10 stadium clock ??

  22. But our athletes were clean Gary… They were the fastest CLEAN running team in the world.

  23. ok…well send placed then…my bad..still not celebrating ..ah fraid

  24. I am loving this relay. This gold belonged to these guys and was borrowed over the eight years. Best news for the year.

  25. hate me if you all want…BUT I not celebrating this …because the way it going..we came 4th originally…so i could imagine the team that came 5th licking they lips now…who knows…this sport is a big joke…yam and cassava my ass.

  26. In all my years of sprinting in T&T and in NYC, there have always been cheaters. So I am not surprised one bit. Cheaters are always far ahead of the systems used to detect illegal enhancement drugs, injections & subliminals and masking agents/techniques. The cheaters and their underground chemists develop compounds that cannot be detected by contemporary methods & technologies. So the IOC will always be behind but they’ll close the gap to within a month or two eventually.