A goat with a jacuzzi?! Live Wire investigates suspicious ADB loans

Somewhere in this beautiful two island republic, there may or may not be a goat with his own two-storey building, inclusive of a master bedroom, jacuzzi, walk-in closet, wraparound patio, recreation room, loft, study, living-room and dining-room.

Photo: Fancy a dip?
Photo: Fancy a dip?

Naturally, Trinidad and Tobago citizens—who reserve the right to hunt, clout, curry or char siu kai fan anyone or thing without an ID card—are in outrage.

As always, Mr Live Wire is happy to be the voice of reason.

As it turns out, the sensational news that someone had used $9 million in loans from the Ministry of Agriculture, Land and Fisheries to make a gorgeous pad—presumably for his animals, of course—was actually delivered by new minister Clarence Rambharat during the 2015 Budget debate.

Only nobody noticed because they were too busy giggling at Barry, playing holier than thou with ‘Princess Smith’, discussing Colm’s phantom hacker and checking to see if super gasoline was in the recipe for doubles.

Maybe Rambharat should have opened with some helpful innuendos about who might have put the goat in house. That way, we would have known he was serious.

Photo: Get the name right, G.O.A.T!
Photo: Get the name right, G.O.A.T!

Thankfully, at least one civic minded State official was paying attention.

Barely two weeks after Rambharat’s Budget presentation, Agricultural Development Bank (ADB) CEO Sheivan Ramnath reportedly told the new Minister of Agriculture that: “the probe (into the ‘scandal’) had begun and a detailed report would be on his desk next month.”

Which would be all very comforting except for a few minor details.

First, Rambharat’s sensational news was neither sensational nor news. He had merely quoted from the 2012 Auditor General’s report. And Ramnath, might have begun his probe quite a bit earlier, since he was CEO at the time the report was done.

Former Agriculture Minister Vasant Bharath told the Trinidad Guardian what actually happened.

“I don’t know when it actually happened,” said Bharath, who once used taxpayers’ money to buy a Porsche. “It could have happened in September after I left office, I don’t know. It could have happened while I was there as minister.

“It is impossible for a minister to know every single thing in a ministry.”

Photo: I don't drive away from my responsibilities as a minister... But when I do, I drive a Porsche.
Photo: I don’t drive away from my responsibilities as a minister… But when I do, I drive a Porsche.

What did you expect Bharath to do? Read the Auditor General’s report that was written for his benefit?

Don’t make him laugh.

The buck does not stop with the former Agriculture Minister. Duh. If it did, he would buy another Porsche.

But Bharath knew who should be held responsible. Somebody else.

“The only way the person could have built a sports bar, lounge and jacuzzi is if the ADB did not do follow-up checks,” said Bharath. “Somebody has fallen down on the job. At the end of the day, whatever it was, the fact is, that somebody should have paid the price…

“Some action should have been taken, regardless of what it was.”

And that brings us back to Ramnath. Or the somebody who was in charge at the time and failed to spot it, stop it or read detailed reports provided on it but, three years later, has volunteered to investigate his own incompetence.

Photo: Agricultural Development Bank (ADB) CEO Sheivan Ramnath.
Photo: Agricultural Development Bank (ADB) CEO Sheivan Ramnath.

“If anything is found out of the ordinary it would be reported to the higher authorities,” Ramnath assured the Guardian.

And who wouldn’t be assured by that, three years after the fact?

Ramnath, my good fellow, you had me swooning at “if.”

Mr Live Wire is hoping that the goat has a room to rent.

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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  2. Farmers cannot access loans. Jail.please for all. government must start some where. This is a good place to start.

  3. The people get no help from the ministry but minister only helping them self look what them have now poor people still suffering under the unc

  4. reminding me of swimming pool for horses under o hallArAn HOUSES BEFORE HORSES

  5. All I want to hear is file to the DPP…

  6. Scotty Ranking

    Mr Live Wire! Your piece betrays your ignorance in the culinary arts. Don’t you know that stress is just as much a danger in livestock as it is in human beings? Should the meat you eat come from a stressed-out animal, then you stand a good chance of ingesting concentrated stress from its meat regardless of your cooking method!
    As such, steps have to be taken to ensure that, immediately before slaughter, goats and the like should be subjected to a trip to a sports bar and a jacuzzi lime too! This not only reduces stress in the animal, but the alcohol and warming bath helps to pre-season and tenderise the flesh for better cooking thereafter!
    And, for those whose caprine flesh interests goes beyond the culinary, wouldn’t the above treatment indeed set the mood for what comes next?

  7. You getting sent to.the goat.house?

  8. Football Sports Bar?
    Chaguanas? Lange Park?
    Sounds like a TTFA presidential Candidate.

  9. Well, when the line minister in charge at the time and expected to ensure taxpayers money is used appropriately is Vasant Bharath… You’re off to a bad start.

  10. This whole scenario reminds me of what I read about NEDCO. Maybe not too far down the road, it might resemble HCU. As the saying goes, who to guard the guards or is it the story of not me?

  11. Lol. “Who put the goat in house” would have definitely got our attention!

  12. What is their obsession with goats?? 🙂

  13. Ah boi, this is one for Ripley’s believe it or not

  14. If true, I wonder how this pad compares with the apartment Chuck Blazer had for his cats.

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