Home / Live Wire / To beat or not to beat: Madea’s diplomatic lesson

To beat or not to beat: Madea’s diplomatic lesson

Mr Live Wire contemplates life if parents followed UN conventions and nations preferred not to spare the rod.

(Scene: Somewhere in Trinidad and Tobago.)

After rising tensions between Big Momma and her offspring, who was recognised as a sovereign nation by the United Nations on her day of birth, Big Momma, as head of her Cabinet, imposed economic sanctions on the adjoining State.

Photo: You best pray I can't get no drones to rent!
Photo: You best pray I can’t get no drones to rent!

Her daughter, Rudi, can forget about that Movie Towne lime on the weekend now.

Day two: Relations between the two nations remain frosty. Big Momma has amped things up further with a trade embargo. It looks like there will be no new dress for her daughter’s birthday party; at this rate, she would be lucky to get a kiss cake.

Day three: Rudi has requested talks aimed at seeking out a resolution. Her phone credit has expired and the dire communication problems looks like it might throw her kingdom into crisis. A curfew was imposed too along with a no-fly zone. Rudi is allowed no visitors outside of school hours. Not even via Skype.

The two nations agree to formal, binding discussions and, as a show of good faith, Big Momma allowed her daughter free movement outside her territorial boundaries so long as the no-fly zone is respected. So, she can leave her room but not the house.

Day four: Big Momma agreed to allow weapon inspectors free access to her territorial space, so long as all searches are done in her presence and with respect to her property. There were some tough diplomatic manoeuvring but, in the end, a mutually beneficial agreement was reached that gives Momma the assurance nothing untoward is taking place within striking distance of her own jurisdiction.

Photo: If not for Mr Live Wire and the UN, this belt done invade that backside long time!
Photo: If not for Mr Live Wire and the UN, this belt done invade that backside long time!

Meanwhile, in unrelated news, Trinidad and Tobago discovered a Barbadian fishing in Tobago waters and responding by immediately invading Bridgetown. The full-scale attack was taped and re-broadcast on Facebook as a warning to other neighbours.

Regional authorities have hinted at using paperwork to combat the escalating violence with paperwork through the implementation of a ban on corporal punishment. Angry nations are always responsive to moral lectures from outsiders, after all.

Where is Doctor Phil when you need him?

About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire
Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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  1. The voice of reason, Miss Behave. Far too many of us take the myopic view that does not let us see the wood for the trees. The problem, as Miss Behave correctly points out, is multi-dimensional and complex and the solution MUST inevitably involve a whole range of entities, beginning with the parents. But when so many parents are teenagers, the problem assumes a completely new dimension and makes urgent intervention imperative.
    So when, in response to the latest episode, the PM began to beat her chest and boast that she was responsible for the critical intervention which outlawed corporal punishment, how can one not despair of making any real progress while assholes are making the decisions?

  2. Unfortunately the escalating indiscipline in schools may not be just due to the cessation of “corporal” punishment…a lot of mismanagement is going on in many schools and absenteeism among teachers is also a serious issue as well as physical conditions within schools that make the environment less conducive to learning. Obviously we have instances where corporal punishment may not be an option…what do you do when the student is bigger than the teacher? That’s where a proper system of discipline that does not necessarily involve physical punishment, but which inculcates in students a modicum of respect for the system and for the authority to which they should defer while at school. Parents must also be a part of the solution to this problem because whatever indiscipline their child brings to school, you can be sure they are bringing it at home. It’s really sad the way our schools have deteriorated. In some schools overt indiscipline is not a huge issue, but other ugly situations occur like cyber-bullying which is just as dangerous. Obviously a commitment to strategic planning for schools is needed, with the goal of maintaining discipline and teaching our youth what is acceptable and also inspiring them to be better citizens. There is no easy answer but it can start with a caring group of administrators, with determination to succeed and to be the change with or without support from the national administration, although obviously support from the government would probably be best, except in instances when they want to dictate but have no clue how to govern properly.

  3. If you were hoping to confuse readers like me, you’ve succeeded – splendidly! I know nothing about The UN and even less than that about Big Momma so I’ll need a key to unravel your meaning.

  4. Non-Biblical legislation can address one problem, namely physical abuse. At the same time it causes other problems, such as indiscipline to escalate. An example is what happened in the schools system. Physical abuse of students was reduced, but indiscipline among students has escalated after the Government proudly stopped physical punishment.