“Vindicated” Kamla gets vindictive; Live Wire unearths a fantastic plot

EPL Infrafred Sauna

Spoiler alert: Sooner or later, Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar will be unable to keep a straight face. “Tanty Kamla” will just break down with uncontrollable laughter at a press conference or even in Parliament, while everyone stares at each other with confused expressions.

At that point, manned television cameras will emerge from neatly camouflaged hiding spots and we would finally know the truth.

Photo: Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar. (Copyright AFP 2014/Frederic Dubray)
Photo: Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar.
(Copyright AFP 2014/Frederic Dubray)

Trinidad and Tobago has been “punk’d” for the last five years. The People’s Partnership’s entire term was an elaborate hoax.

Sometime and somewhere, a television producer watched “How to lose a guy in 10 days” and figured “How to lose a country in five years” was potentially much more fun.

How else can you explain Persad-Bissessar’s decision to try and remove deputy Director of Public Prosecutions Joan Honore-Paul for the same statement she claimed vindicated her, just five days ago?

Last week, Honore-Paul suggested that Persad-Bissessar could not be cleared from an investigation while it was still ongoing by the Integrity Commission and Trinidad and Tobago Police Service. And that it was unhelpful to both investigations for the Prime Minister to claim otherwise.

In the real world, we call that logic.

The Prime Minister’s initial response was: “I am very happy. I feel vindica­ted by the statements made by the (deputy) Director of Public Prose­cutions… What more can I need?”

Yesterday, Persad-Bissessar addressed the same statement by the deputy DPP with: “My lawyers have told me that the deputy DPP in her media release trespassed against the constitutional remit of the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service and the Integrity Commission.

“Secondly my lawyers have told me that she has demonstrated bias and thirdly they have advised that we would call upon her to recuse herself from these investigations.”

Mr Live Wire also has a few concerns, after reading that statement.

Photo: Eh?!
Photo: Eh?!

Is the Prime Minister now suggesting that “logic” is biased against her Government? If so, should we be alarmed or is that a positive first step?

And where did this legal advice come from?

Is the Prime Minister so allergic to responsibility that she is claiming lawyers approach her to offer unsolicited advice before going off to file their own motions in her name, rather than suggest that she sought counsel to vindictively eliminate a woman who embarrassed her politically?

Or are those legal opinions actually voices in her head?

Either sounds plausible at this stage.

Media houses are probably phoning the likes of Martin Daly SC, Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj SC and Reginald Armour SC for a response to the Prime Minister’s latest salvo.

Mr Live Wire would have called Elder Associates and booked the PM a session on the couch. I mean saying that the Prime Minister’s change of tone over the DPP is a bit odd is like describing a whale as a “kinda big fish.”

And this is not to make fun of psychological illness. Far from it. It is starting to seem as though Persad-Bissessar’s entire election campaign is a genuine plea for help.

Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar gets a buzz from the local government election results. DPP?! Go home!
Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar gets a buzz from the local government election results.
DPP?! Go home!

And, like Lady MacBeth desperately trying to perfume her tainted hands, Tanty Kamla is doing everything she can think of to be free of her post, short of scrawling the message “HELP ME” on a piece of paper and holding it up for the television cameras while Roodal Moonilal’s back is turned.

Let us at least admit that taking on the DPP in an election year, after already aggravating the unions, accelerating the wastage of public funds and insulting the intelligence of right-thinking citizens, is like a horrible waiter telling you that you have ugly children, just before asking for a tip.

At this point, Opposition Leader Dr Keith Rowley can have political meetings that last for just five seconds. He only has to say: “I’m not Kamla…” drop the mic and walk off stage.

Maybe, though, we will find out that it was all a bizarre reality show where a middle aged woman tried to infuriate a sleepy, lackadaisical two island republic by pulling gags like: riding to work in a helicopter while asking public servants to ban their belly, refusing to appoint a permanent Police Commissioner in the face of rampant crime, appointing a man mired in financial scandals to run the Ministry of Finance and passing legislation capable of freeing persons charged with stealing billions of taxpayers’ dollars on Independence Day.

Hahahahaha! You got us good there, Tanty Kamla.

Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women's World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago. (Courtesy FIFA.com)
Photo: Ex-FIFA vice-president Jack Warner (left) and Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar share a light moment during the 2010 FIFA Under-17 Women’s World Cup in Trinidad and Tobago.
(Courtesy FIFA.com)

There is only nagging problem with that theory though.

Surely not even Stephen King could dream up characters as perverse and morally depraved as “Anil Roberts” and “Vernella Alleyne-Toppin.”

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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  1. Shyda sanker vex he not getting a position .hahahaha

  2. Ali Baba and d 40 thieves. Karma round d corner

  3. yuh know…errybaddy talkin about how Kamz this and how Kamz dat…
    i wanna nominate the dude who did the photoshoping of that PR photo for an Academy Award for Best CGI of a Politician

  4. U on shit. She was out of place don’t jump out when u know u playing. Now d report final how she feeling. That DPP jus vex they couldn’t drag it kn longer. Rowley is a fool on games cause his audience have no sense.

  5. Sounds like Anand wukking hard in de background.

  6. This could not be summarizes any better

  7. there going to be a judge on day land and money can’t go no were nobody never go with it

  8. in the end… politics will divide us , foolish people will decide the election… and we will ALL be losers…
    what exactly did the other party do in their last term… led by a prophetess and executive president in waiting??? oh god …allyu have a HART …remember him

    • We are already divided ,, politics takes advantage of that , politics itself cannot create a divide …
      We were divided before 1962 ……

  9. If they “understand”, their witch hunt will lose all credibility. It is necessary to continuously vilify Dr. Rowley. Thankfully, the Hansard does not lie.

  10. Would the PM make a strategic move and call election date?

  11. Hmm some peeps die many times before death. Thats worse… and ungodly folks wow

  12. Proven for what men could not have done, Born to lead

  13. The UNC and its supporters do not like statements of fact. They wanted to kill David West (figuratively). Although after Dana, we cannot be too sure.

    • wait? this is what PNM supporters call? facts ?

      last time I checked, it was the PNM supporters who have a hard time differentiating facts from rumors …

      Item of evidence “a” : see comments above ….

  14. ….in much the same way that the evils of the UNC (we all know the PP is defunct) are GOOD to you

  15. Lol lol lol
    So she being part of the process should have known better to bump her gum in a six page letter days before investigation was terminated. She was biased in her letter and she just like the worst ever leader of the PNM has lost credibility. For so long he has been the email specialist and he has been given the virtual slap in the face by Google and the Integrity Commission

    • Think for a second. Was the deputy DPP wrong to say the investigation was finished while it was unfinished? Or was the PM wrong to say it was?

      • the PM never said the investigation was over ….
        the PM posted evidence which she thought cleared her name …..

        and FYI – the Deputy DPP’s 6 page letter, did not say: ” the investigation is not over, no one is cleared” x 100 times …..

        the Deputy DPP clearly demonstrated bias and support for the leader of the opposition ….

        the Deputy DPP went far beyond her duty to canvas support for the PNM and to tarnish the name of the PM …

        this is a clear abuse of her office …..

      • Lasana ..

        please read the 6 page letter …
        you clearly are being a typical uninformed PNM liar/supporter ….

    • all the info was already received lol still grasping at straws

    • Whose responsibility it is to declare an investigation complete? The investigators? Or the accused?

      • when did the PM declare the investigation complete ?
        please show us…
        The PM posted a letter she received and professed that she felt vindicated ! !
        She said that she “expected” a conclusion to the investigation soon .
        And I would agree that that was improper of her …
        but since you are saying the PM concluded the investigation was over…
        please show us where she said that ….

        (good luck with that) ..

        your entire defense of the Deputy DPP is based on a lie …
        Typical PNM behavior from you Lasana …
        Typical ..

        Furthermore ..
        You claim the Deputy DPP made a statement of fact…
        one statement that took 6 pages to write ..

        was the Deputy DPP writing in Crayon ?
        how does one simple statement of fact take 6 pages to write ?

        So again you are misleading the public to believe that the deputy DPP is being bashed for the one statement of fact in her 6 page letter …
        But the contents of her 6 page letter, is what has brought the Office of the DPP into disrepute …

        : ” clear bias, and a break of the rights of the accused to a fair investigation ”

        6 pages,,,,
        not one statement written in crayon to fill six pages …..

    • Btw, Rowley never claimed to be “the email specialist”. He asked for the emails to be investigated. There’s a difference, try to understand.

  16. You may not have seen her, but there are many who have. And if my parents drink till they falling down drunk, neither of them is the PM.

  17. very nice humor piece …

    however, for the DPP’s office to comment on a matter before the Police and Integrity commission in staunch defense of an accuser (anyone) , and to impugn the character of an accused before the completion of an investigation .

    is a breach of the accused’s rights ……

    heaven forbid, the day YOU stand accused, and you publicly make statements to repair your character , that you are attacked by the office of the DPP …

    never mind the DPP has no investigating powers and the matter is being investigated by the police and integrity commission, after you were the one who referred the matter to the police for investigation…

    you would not find it funny at all …
    take the UNC and PNM out of it..
    and the DPP is wrong, wrong , wrong …

    but once the PNM and UNC is involved… the PNM becomes like Jesus, and capable of no wrong Totally disgusting typical PNM behavior devoid of morals ….
    All that is wrong and evil is OK once the PNM did it ….

    • What the DPP did was offer an update on an ongoing investigation that became necessary due to false rumours being spread in the public domain, which was forced her to protect the dignity of her office.
      What upsets you is that the person spreading false information was the Prime Minister. Had it been the Opposition Leader or ILP leader, you would have had no problem.
      The DPP did not make a political statement. She made a statement of fact.
      Pity you cannot tell the difference.

      • clearly, Lasana… you have not read the DPP’s letter ,,,

        you are lying to the public …
        the DPP did not make a “statement of fact” …

        she wrote a 6 page letter ,,,,

        for you to take ONE sentence, of fact, and ignore 6 pages, demonstrates rank incompetence on your part ….

        the DPP Did not make a simple statement of fact….

        If she DID , she would not be in so much hot water ….

      • Lasana …

        answer me ? Did the deputy DPP make a statement of fact in crayon and filled 6 pages to write one simple sentence ?

        or are you lying on behalf of the deputy DPP to protect her ? a clear misuse of your position as a journalist…
        you are morally corrupt…
        you are a liar and a PNM supporter pretending to be neutral …
        you cannot even write one column without having to fib …

        I am still waiting to see where the PM concluded the investigation …

        and I am still waiting for you to show me this 6 page letter from the Deputy DPP with a single statement of fact on it ….

        Or..you can apologize publicly as you promised you would do if anyone can identify incorrect statements that you have made,,,

        I have found 2 on this article ..

        • “Lasana Liburd
          Find me one statement from me in two years. Or just one sentence in any article I did on emailgate in that time frame… And show me a single line where I said I thought the emails were true.
          Do that and I will publicly apologize to Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar and yourself…”

        • I am not surprised by your dishonesty.

  18. God said to respect dignitaries and to pray for them but all of you disregard God word and disrespect the PM and others and pointing fingers at her you never see her with a rum bottle and glass, forgetting GOD eyes is on all off you when drinking alcohol and doing all manner off things GOD is against. Be careful of all tongues and finger pointing, I am sure that some off all you mother and father’s drinks alcohol and nobody hear all.

  19. U with out sin cast d first stone .

  20. Wonderful. I’m patiently awaiting the right to let good sense prevail…

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