Larry Houdini, Machel the false profit and a corporation in retreat

There is no sugar coating this. When your Finance Minister is afraid to answer questions on financial transparency and conflicts of interest from, of all people, Jack Warner, you know that you’re in way too deep.

If Larry Howai thinks his reputation—or what remained of it after his $10 million First Citizens Bank parachute—could not withstand a little Parliamentary cut and thrust with a man once accused of diverting aid money for earthquake victims in Haiti…

Well, all Mr Live Wire can say is that Warner finding a person who cannot look him in the eye to talk about money is surely one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Photo: Minister Larry Howai supposedly sent a pre-action protocol letter to Jack Warner's Sunshine Newspaper on December 24. Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Santa Claus delivered it.  (Courtesy news.gov.tt)
Photo: Minister Larry Howai supposedly sent a pre-action protocol letter to Jack Warner’s Sunshine Newspaper on December 24.
Mr Live Wire cannot confirm that Santa Claus delivered it.
(Courtesy news.gov.tt)

Can’t I just give my taxes to the guy who emailed to say he lost his wallet at a hotel in Bulgaria on a vacation he forgot to say he was going on? I would feel safer giving him my hard-earned money than Minister Larry Houdini.

God knows what Howai is hiding considering the sort of answers we already get from politicians. Case in point was Minister of Planning and Sustainable Development Dr Bhoe Tewarie, who is a former Minister of Industry, Enterprise and Tourism and UWI principal.

PNM Senator Lester Henry wanted to know how soca star Machel Montano’s Government-funded “Going for Gold 50th Independent Anniversary” album did.

Tewarie replied that the Government spent $5 million to produce the album and it earned $175,000. The Trinidad Express, whose editor must have attended the same business school as Tewarie, wrote that the album has “thus far yielded a profit of $175,000.”

Needless to say, by that yardstick, Wired868 can guarantee the Government a much better and faster return on its investment. Just give Mr Live Wire $5 million and he will immediately hand you back $1 million.

Call that profit if you like. The Express would probably agree.

Photo: That is how to make profit like a boss!
Photo: That is how to make profit like a boss!

Ever so often, it is good to investigate the breeding ground for the Tewaries of tomorrow. So, Live Wire would like to pay tribute to the Couva/Tabaquite/Talparo Regional Corporation (CTTRC), which is chaired by Harry Awong.

The CTTRC, according to Awong, aims to use a retreat to develop “an action plan” and take a “holistic approach towards the organisation.” Awong told the Express that this retreat will “look at where you could cut, where you could trim, how you could get the work done, utilising less resources and all kind of things like that.”

And this retreat, aimed at devising cost cutting measures for the regional corporation, will be held at the Cocoa Reef Resort and Spa in Tobago from March 19 to 22 with costs of $260,000 (hotel accommodation), $14,578 (airfare), $5,500 (ground transportation) and $25,000 (consultancy fee).

Incidentally, this will be the second high powered Tobago retreat for the CTTRC in under a year after Awong and his merry men spent over $261,000 on an excursion to Le Grand Courlan Spa Resort in May 2014.

Awong explained the need for the two retreats.

“Last year we went and we developed the strategic plan,” Awong told the Express. “For the first time in a long time we developed a strategic plan. Coming out of this strategic plan, you are supposed to have an action plan in order to achieve the goals outlined in the strategic plan.”

Naturally. Well, go do your action plan then, Sir. But, leaving aside the many possible questions on your planning process, can we trouble you to ask why Tobago though?

Photo: Presumably when Harry Awong's car runs low on gas, he buys a new car!
Photo: Presumably when Harry Awong’s car runs low on gas, he buys a new car!

“It is very difficult for councillors to sit down in Trinidad and plan at that level,” said Awong. “We have tried retreats in Trinidad and during the retreat, a councillor would get a call that somebody house probably burned down or somebody place flood or something to that effect where something happens and the person calls the councillor.”

Awong and the Couva/Tabaquite/Talparo Regional Corporation will be delighted to know that Mr Live Wire is about to save them $280,078:

Host the retreat in the corporation’s boardroom, order Subway sandwiches and have everyone turn their cell phones off.

Please email editor@wired868.com to find out where to send that $25,000 consultancy fee.

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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75 comments

  1. Oh I reAd and had a good laugh lol ? that business school graduated a lot of them lol ?

  2. I suggest, forget the Subway, everyone should just walk with a dish.

  3. So kamla gave her boy Marshall $5million taxpayers dollars to produce his golden album. What part he play in that orgy boi??

  4. He was one of the worst finance minister we ever had. A lot of nonsense took place under his watch. Full of “crap “….

  5. Which cemetry did he crawl out from?

  6. Ah! Thanks for the trip down memory lane there Mr. Live Wire.

  7. People want to blame the government for these RETREATS first to begin the PM never tell these Aldermen nor Councillors to go on a retreat to execute a plan to carry out their duties regarding infrastructure work in their area/electoral district. Most of the time is the Chairman/C.E.O recommend these grand ideas and the COUNCIL/COUNCILLORS whether it be PNM/UNC etc controlled corporations AGREE TO GO because everybody want a free VACATION at the TAXPAYERS EXPENSE. I know about a certain PNM Controlled Corporation who did the same thing a few months after they were voted into office and they used the same SILLY EXCUSES about having it in TOBAGO how people spouse does be calling them and they have to leave meetings and go home etc or some problem with the kids etc All of them same shit whether it PNM/UNC/ILP whatever, everybody want to splurge, want a bligh, want a kick back. SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY.

  8. This government is the worst first this PM worse this AG worst finance minister worst they all to full of there self like this country is there’s to rape i would like to see people going in Gail for what they have done God have mercy on the poor people and punish those who did wickedness while in government and nearly forgot pastor cuffie to i would like to see he getting his to wicked money self serving pastor gain the world and lost their souls

  9. When I read these things I dont know whether to laugh or cry at the level of high-class stupidity and blatant misappropriation of funds. The sad part is that, we, the little people are the ones who will end up ‘tightening our belts’ should there be any austerity measures in the future.

  10. And wa machel have to do with politrics

  11. LMAO.All they need now is a bald head dunce

  12. Lasana yuh hit de nail on de head! I heard about the $175000.00 profit on the news….I95.5 FM. And I thought what the France they talking bout? So is not only the Express….but people have plenty certificates lately…..

  13. So sad for our country… but Lasana Liburd is a genius.

  14. The opening lines though. Sums up everything.

  15. NIB pay ppl their pension and go after the company.750 is the qualifying number of contribution, right? Stop robbing people.

  16. Set up pension plans for all state enterprise employees immediately before they gone with all the money. Corrupt so and so.

  17. share some food cards and jobs so some people could retreat to the supermarket

  18. So in other words they can’t think on the job which they apply for so waste good money to eat n wine and dine n some months later down the road say we need a next retreat to add to the existing plans from the last two retreats.
    Come on isn’t this why they hav assistants and the corp has staff to attend to the problems that may arise if they stay here. Who really believe this watery excuse. People does real try to bamboozle us cause not enough folks say it’s enough

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