New Jack City goes green; watch your constituencies, Kamla

Sixty-nine percent of Chaguanas West yesterday decided that disgraced football administrator, foremost anti-transparency advocate and truth-challenged politician Jack Warner was more trustworthy than Trinidad and Tobago Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar and her cardboard cut-out candidate Khadijah Ameen.

The Chaguanas West by-election ended a surreal three month period for the constituency as voters metaphorically cowered in the corner and looked on as two scavengers fought for their hides. It might have been tempting for constituents to feel flattered but, no matter who won, they were going to be someone’s lunch.

Photo: Jack Warner effectively recycled himself to Chaguanas West with his new green ILP party.
Photo: Jack Warner effectively recycled himself to Chaguanas West with his new green ILP party.

Politicians have long viewed Trinidad and Tobago citizens as no more than walking voting instruments. And voters invariably compound their own problems by letting MPs have the wrong finger.

Persad-Bissessar told supporters last night that they were still in Government and had “26 seats in the Parliament and maybe 27 depending on what happens.” The fact that she needed to remind people who was Prime Minister spoke volumes.

Not to mention the stark reality that the Prime Minister does not know how many seats she has.

Mr Live Wire expects that Persad-Bissessar will spend the rest of the week ordering President Anthony “Lord Pussyfoot” Carmona to vacate whatever building he happens to be in, just to prove to herself that she’s still got it.

Let’s help the PM with some Parliamentary mathematics:

Winston “Gypsy” Peters, who knows a sinking ship when he sees one, was first to join Warner’s celebratory party. They were quickly joined by Dr Fuad Khan and Herbert Volney and, if they all switch sides, the People’s Partnership is down to 25 of 41 available seats.

Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar (centre) campaigned unsuccessfully on behalf of Khadijah Ameen (left). The Prime Minister might have lost a lot more than Chaguanas West last night. (Courtesy Jyoti Communications)
Photo: Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar (centre) campaigned unsuccessfully on behalf of Khadijah Ameen (left).
The Prime Minister might have lost a lot more than Chaguanas West last night.
(Courtesy Jyoti Communications)

Khan, is the former UNC deputy political leader, but he never made it on to the Prime Minister’s “My Lime” list and might have felt uncomfortable at the ruling party’s big play of its Hindu roots in recent weeks.

Like Khan, Warner is an avowed Muslim. Of course, Warner is also a Hindu and Christian, which might make the swearing-in process rather tricky.

Religion is overrated in politics and Trinidad and Tobago life at present anyway. The fact that Warner is more comfortable in church than court does not say much for God’s regional directors.

But let’s get back to local politics.

Warner would probably have Anil Roberts and Rupert Griffith at “hello.” While a defection by the TOP, who snubbed the UNC’s Chaguanas West campaign, could cause the PP to shrink to 21 seats.

It would then take only one departure from any of Clifton De Couteau, Nizam Baksh, Stacy Roopnarine, Jairam Seemungal and Colin Partap to make the Prime Minister and the Government vulnerable to a No Confidence Motion.

In the past week, the Attorney General’s security detail knocked down one Chaguanas West resident and drove off without offering assistance. While a young man said he was assaulted by an unnamed Minister, near a polling station, after he warned the Minister about trying to influence votes.

Chaguanas West voters decided the party that left them bleeding on the streets and beat them up at the polling station could not be trusted to deliver on its health care promises. And, at the polls, Ameen got the type of enthusiastic spanking that should be reserved for one’s wedding night and might have turned her new fiancé Mitra Rampersad green with envy.

Photo: ILP leader Jack Warner gave UNC candidates Khadijah Ameen a rough time last night. (Courtesy 102FM)
Photo: ILP leader Jack Warner gave UNC candidates Khadijah Ameen a rough time last night.
(Courtesy 102FM)

The Prime Minister will now spend the remaining two years fending for her constituencies. Unless she lets the smirking Warner back into her PP. And he would probably want much more than a few firetrucking contracts.

In the words of popular local necromaniac, Ian Alleyne: The hunt is on.

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About Mr. Live Wire

Mr. Live Wire is an avid news reader who translates media reports for persons who can handle the truth. And satire. Unlike Jack Nicholson, he rarely yells.

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8 comments

  1. This is the worst piece of POLITICAL MADNESS called GOVERNANCE this country has ever witnessed. A win for J W is against the UNC,against MORALS,INTEGRITY and against IDEALS that some of our PARENTS instilled in us, this does not exist only in Chaguanas West but all over, the GREEN seems to be the IDEAL along with the deep pockets. My pockets are deep enough for me to survive, from hard work.

  2. Chica Emery says this is funny as hell but neglects to say that it’s the kind of laughter that leaves a huge lump in your throat.

    Miss Behave has laid out clearly IMHO why that lump is there.

    We should perhaps all be crying today for the beloved country.

  3. Sadly it is not just a vote against the government, it is also a vote against the opposition and a vote for corruption at its highest level. Not meaning to echo any other voices whining about the way politics may or may not be heading, I have to wonder at the election of such a man as Jack, so obviously corrupt, with still a truckload of baggage in the form of past misdeeds (for which he has yet to make amends) because the people of Chag West simply see him as someone who can help them out.
    Have they stopped to consider the source of his funds? Then again, the UNC did not stop to consider any of Jack’s checkered past when they brought him into the fold for Chag West in the first place…their mistake….one of many when it came to Jack. They endorsed him for public life and then subsequently rejected him after a long period of “managing” every new public “indictment”…now they want to be seen as the better option…clearly they are delusional.
    It is sad though that not even the Opposition could manage to sway the Chag West voters….in essence they chose to vote for what they think they know…a man with a hand that reaches into deep pockets …never mind how he is filling (or previously filled those pockets, Soca Warriors and Haiti be damned), and forget the FBI and anyone else who may be investigating him….Chag West is not the least bit concerned…or do they even know. Ignorance is bliss.

  4. To combat my own anxiety, I’m going to go ahead and chalk up these results to a vote against the government and not a vote for the most glaring example of what is wrong with our society personified as Jack Warner.

  5. lol I love Politics in Trinidad and Tobago … its like one big reality TV series lol

  6. oh gawd ah love it!!

  7. This is funny as hell. You are creative.

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