Diary of an autistic child: “They say I’m different—but I’m just me…”

“[…] It’s not necessarily that I don’t like you—it’s just immensely discomforting to be up close and personal.

“It feels almost painful making eye contact…”

The following Letter to the Editor, which gives a first-hand account of living with autism, was submitted to Wired868 by an autistic teenager:

I love to read…

They say I’m different, but I don’t think so—I’m just me.

Noise is agonizing and intimidating. When it’s noisy, my ears feel like they’re bleeding, my head hurts and I feel nauseous.

I really like the library. It is the perfect place for me. It’s quiet. It’s the best space in school. In the world.

It’s not necessarily that I don’t like you—it’s just immensely discomforting to be up close and personal.

It feels almost painful making eye contact.

People say I’m rude but I don’t really understand. It’s not my intention—I just talk, and I feel confused when I hear this.

I don’t understand some things people say and I have to ask follow up questions. I’m not being sarcastic; I sometimes need clarification and more time to process.

The thought of speaking out loud, especially in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, is extremely distressing. It makes me anxious. I feel dizzy and my voice disappears.

No, I don’t think I’m different—but even if you do, please try not to judge.

I’m just me.

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