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Miriam Castellano, the name by which a prolific social media commentator goes, responded to a column I had written on the distressing impact of global warfare.
“Disengage! You sound like an empath. For your own mental health you should train yourself to know when a Time Out is necessary,” she wrote.
It seemed to me that she was suggesting that being an empath was somehow a weakness, making one unreasonably vulnerable to the vicissitudes of the world. I could be wrong—I could be misinterpreting her instruction to disengage. But it did make me reflect on the concept of empathy.
I have always been curious about the human condition: how personal experiences shape our behaviour and our outlook. This notion of empathy often elicits burly responses.
Yet, a society that has been inclined to applaud aggressive, confrontational and high-handed behaviour as signs of strength, especially in positions of leadership, is now tilting closer to an appreciation of a nurturing environment.
If you have been listening to the general tenor of comments regarding the general elections, both before and after, you might have noticed that people complained about the arrogance of the incumbents, and responded warmly to the promises of a kinder, more humane style of leadership. They were the two most recurring statements that I observed.
During the walkabouts and the various meetings, these would probably have been the most repeated sentiments to the hopeful candidates. The results tell us who listened.
The Prime Minister and her team listened, and tailored their campaign messages accordingly. In her first three speeches—as the results became known, as she was sworn in, and as her Cabinet was sworn in—she repeated her mantra of love and care, and promised an inclusiveness based on placing a profound value on every citizen’s life.
Photo: UNC.
She shared the impact of her personal struggles in the political world, and kept defining herself as a mother, with strong maternal instincts to protect.
At her swearing-in ceremony, she cautioned her government representatives: “if you treat the citizens with callousness, contempt and corrupt ways, I guarantee you, retribution will be swift and brutal. Never, ever mistake my physical appearance or my kindness for weakness.”
“There is nothing more dangerous than a mother who believes her children are in danger,” she said. “Everyone would be wise to remember that for the next five years.”
Photo: Sunil Lalla.
For some, this was purely playing to the crowd; and given the nature of politics, it is not unreasonable to be cynical. The reality is that whether you believe it to be true or not, this is what the populace has responded to—this is what they needed to hear.
On the opposite side of the political bench, the Opposition Leader offered a similar listening ear. Her personal reputation as a human being who has shown grace, humility and empathy has won her a great deal of affection and respect across the board.
It is unfortunate that like the Prime Minister, she too has stories about being side-lined and overlooked on her political journey, and she too had to defend her gentle nature.
Photo: PNM.
“Some may mistake quiet strength for weakness, but I offer you full resolve, guided by compassion and wisdom, and underpinned by my experience and boundless faith in our destiny,” she said.
The divisive warning from one of her male colleagues to PNM supporters was predictable: “Expect six months of terror, torture, lies, frivolity and persecution.”
This is not what the Opposition Leader encouraged.
Photo: PNM.
“We must model for the youth of this nation, our future leaders, a new way where collaboration is valued over confrontation, where criticism is constructive, where building up our people, regardless of differences in race, age, ideology or status, matters more than breaking each other down,” she said.
These are the kinds of sentiments that are necessary for the mental well-being of a population that has come to feel ostracised at several different levels.
Much is being made of the fact that the roles of president, prime minister and opposition leader are now occupied by women. It is something to celebrate, but at the same time, we ought not to consider this a guarantee that we have entered a kinder, gentler era.
Their utterances have been reassuring (as were the President’s when she took office), but they operate in a world where old instincts prevail.
It was striking that one male regional leader chose to describe them as rulers as he celebrated their ascension. It speaks volumes about how the idea of leadership has been viewed by the patriarchy.
What may turn out to be their biggest challenge is the constant back-room interventions of those with outdated egotistical ideas that are based on the wielding of power as a symbol of might.
Thoughtful, compassionate, transparent and informed decisions are the basis of good governance. While it is true that people often don’t know what is best for them, they can be persuaded by reasoned discussions. They want to be included not ignored—and they certainly don’t want condescension and mamaguy.
People bought in to promises of equity, inclusivity and care. Already, there are disturbing signs that things have not changed in attitudes and past behaviours.
Still, goodwill seems to be high, and optimism prevails. But the more the population is full of expectation, the greater the disappointment.
Photo: UNC.
Keep your words, because breaking them will be the worst form of treachery.
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Vaneisa Baksh is a columnist with the Trinidad Express, an editor and a cricket historian. She is the author of a biography of Sir Frank Worrell.
